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Everything's Gonna Be Alright
I haaate my face. It is so unsymmetrical! My jaw is very square shaped, one of my eyes is more "baggy" then the other..well I could point out every millimeter of my skin and tell what I hate about it. Yet, I'm really getting more comfortable with my face and body the more time goes by. Perhaps I'm growing up?! It is pointless to hate something you are stuck with for the rest of your life. And I feel lucky to be alive and healthy. It is important to not dig too deep in self doubt, it makes you blind to all the good things you have in life. Even if I would go through plastic surgury to be beautiful I have a hard time to believe that I would find myself pretty anyway. I'm always gonna be "one of the ugly girls" or "awkward" or "UFO". That's what people told me. And when I in defense told them that "I am proud of who I am" they laughed right at my face. Cause who could be proud of being an alien? Many years later I'm still battling these things. I'm done being effected by creeps. And right now, it feels good being alien.
What does the future hold?
Some of my plans: Believe it or not, I'm planning to go back to gray-ish hair in a near future.
I don't know if I will mix in some weird color to go with the gray or just keep it all gray? Suggestions? :) An gray/purple ombre do look nice in my head. Will have to see..
Me and Alex have recently bought a punching bag and gloves so I'm proud to say that we're going to start boxing! Not with a trainer or anything, just at home. We are making a gym in our garage, which will be perfect since I HATE to workout in front of people. I have been struggling with running as exercise but don't really enjoy it. Don't feel it giving enough, not even with music and all. I hope boxing is going to be fun and finally give me the motivation I need to start training for real.
My studying is moving slowly, and I'm often distracted with other (not so important) things.
That is the negative side of studying at home instead of in a classroom. I find the subject interesting, it's just that some things are MORE fun. And that is my weakness.. I'm working on it. Trying to make it so that I can move on faster to find a person willing to accept me as a taxadermy apprentice!
These are some of my plans, most about the looks (HAHA) or more about feeling good perhaps. Feel so silly when I write about myself on my blog.
I don't know if I will mix in some weird color to go with the gray or just keep it all gray? Suggestions? :) An gray/purple ombre do look nice in my head. Will have to see..
Me and Alex have recently bought a punching bag and gloves so I'm proud to say that we're going to start boxing! Not with a trainer or anything, just at home. We are making a gym in our garage, which will be perfect since I HATE to workout in front of people. I have been struggling with running as exercise but don't really enjoy it. Don't feel it giving enough, not even with music and all. I hope boxing is going to be fun and finally give me the motivation I need to start training for real.
My studying is moving slowly, and I'm often distracted with other (not so important) things.
That is the negative side of studying at home instead of in a classroom. I find the subject interesting, it's just that some things are MORE fun. And that is my weakness.. I'm working on it. Trying to make it so that I can move on faster to find a person willing to accept me as a taxadermy apprentice!
These are some of my plans, most about the looks (HAHA) or more about feeling good perhaps. Feel so silly when I write about myself on my blog.
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Damn you dry skin!
I never thought I would wear a septum (even if it's fake =SHHHH! Shame on me) cause I think my nose is so ugly xD But.. There were so pretty jewelrys! I couldn't stop myself.
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