Nigthy people - deep sentimental talk

Time to sleep. I have improved my makeup skills like.. 100% these last months. Just watching videos and tutorials on youtube. Determined to reach a higher level. When I look at "old" pictures I laugh hysterically (especially the brows oh dear...) Some pictures from only months ago, yet I hope and keep telling myself that I have become more refined and polished in my look. That I have improved myself. Makeup is one of those things that you have to learn gradually. It takes time to find the style and technique you like best. The more time goes, the more things appear that I have not payed any attention to earlier. Like brows? A few years back I did NOTHING with them as far as makeup goes. I don't understand today how I could walk around like that? Today I rearely leave my house without at least brows. It is under the influense of others I have "evolved". Brows became more of a thing. So I figured that out eventually -thank the gods!

This is me in the picture above!? The girl to the right. Ughh, it is so hard looking at these types of photos. I feel ugly all the time (don´t get me wrong haha), but in this particular time of my life I felt ugliest in the world. (And while watching this picture I still think that!) Poor ugly bastard. Look at that chubby face? I look happy in this picture, beside my friend. But this girl was far from happy at all. I've been called ugly many times and I truly believe that your appearance (to a certain degree) reflect how you feel. They told me I was ugly, so I became even uglier. You loose your confidence and hope in ever breaking out of that curse. The curse of being ugly. You haven't really done anything wrong. You just had bad luck with genetics. So what do you do? Well, you show those mother puckers that makeup and time can heal your ugly face a little ;D

I have had real issues with feeling ugly. Some days I have a hard time to look in a mirror. I feel disgusted. I breakdown and just.. Feel like people stare and whisper about how ugly I am. I guess I'm a bit paranoid. But since I've always been judged, rejected and not approved cause I am ugly it is a big thing to me.

However, like I said: Time and makeup has at least made me feel prettier. And the prettier you feel, the prettier you get <3